Dr Kanwal Kaisser Session Overview SelfEsteem What is it Effects of High and Low Self Esteem Link between self esteem and Islam Secret to Better Self Esteem SelfEsteem What is it ID: 276538
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Slide1
Self Esteem – An Islamic Perspective
Dr.
Kanwal
KaisserSlide2
Session Overview
Self-Esteem: What is it?
Effects of High and Low Self Esteem
Link between self esteem and Islam
Secret to Better Self EsteemSlide3
Self-Esteem: What is it?
Self-esteem refers to the way we see and think about ourselves.Slide4
Self-Esteem: What’s it made of?
All
the
experiences
Interpersonal relationships
Everyone
you’ve ever met has added to or taken away from how you see yourself!Slide5
Levels of Self-EsteemSlide6
The Personal Level
A person might change according to what an imperfect society or culture sees fit.
These
changes happen to a person’s philosophy, opinions, and values. Slide7
The Social Level
In a
social
he
is bound to suffer feelings of worthlessness.
Peer groups or family members may bring about gatherings where a person is harassed or mocked for who he or she is.
A
self-esteem deficit here might lead a person into depression or social anxiety.Slide8
Effects of High and Low Self EsteemSlide9
Characteristics of People With High Self-EsteemSlide10
Characteristics of People With High Self-EsteemSlide11
People with high self esteem have an “I think I can” attitude!Slide12
Characteristics of People With Low Self-EsteemSlide13
Characteristics of People With Low Self-EsteemSlide14
People with low self esteem have an “I can’t do it” attitude.Slide15
Negative Effects of Low Self EsteemSlide16
More Negative Effects of Low Self EsteemSlide17
Negative Effects of Low Self EsteemSlide18
What Caused Low Esteem?
External
forces and internal forces.
Sometimes, people are highly sensitive and internalize criticism.
Take
their criticism to heart.
Sometimes we are taught to think about things in distorted ways.
Other times, we look for other people to validate us, as opposed to turning inwards and turning to Allah to make sure we are doing the right thing.Slide19
Self Esteem and Islam – What’s the Link?Slide20
Faith Adds to Self Esteem
Faith adds an entirely new dimension to our sense of self-worth.
We exist because Allah willed for us to exist
We have a purpose in life because He does not create aimlessly. Slide21
Faith Adds to Self Esteem
The sense of self-worth
comes
from the Divine rather than coming from the human
By focusing inward,
connect
with the inner source of peace, happiness, comfort, care, hope, and light that characterizes our link with Allah. Slide22
Faith Adds to Self Esteem
“We
matter to
Allah”.
Even if no one else seems to care about us, He does, and experiencing His love towards us teaches us to value ourselves.
Ultimately, faith and dignity are strongly linked, so true faith can bring the deepest sense of self-worth.Slide23
Self Worth Of A Muslim
Muslims have countless reasons to feel blessed, worthy and honored, and never give in to despair, hopelessness or self-hatred – resulting ultimately in high self esteem.Slide24
A Muslim has high self esteem because he…Slide25
1. Is honored by Allah
“We have honored the children of Adam and carried them by land and sea. We have provided good sustenance for them and favored them specially above many of those We have created”
(Al-
Israa
17
:70)
وَلَقَدْ كَرَّمْنَا بَنِي آدَمَ وَحَمَلْنَاهُمْ فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ وَرَزَقْنَاهُم مِّنَ الطَّيِّبَاتِ وَفَضَّلْنَاهُمْ عَلَىٰ كَثِيرٍ مِّمَّنْ خَلَقْنَا تَفْضِيلًاSlide26
2. Isn’t Weighed Down By Guilt
“
Say: O my servants! who have acted extravagantly against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of
Allah
.
”
(
Az-Zumar
39: 53)
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِSlide27
3. Knows There Is A Way Out
“And for those who fear Allah, He always prepares a way out
,.
”
(
At-
Talaaq
65
: 2-3)
وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّـهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا Slide28
4. Knows Relief Comes With Difficulty
“
So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.”
(
Ash-
Sharah
94: 5-6)Slide29
Steps to High Self EsteemSlide30
Three Key Themes
Conscious determination,
Spiritual connection with Allah
Emotional balance.Slide31
#1 – Personal Evaluation
Perform a personal ‘Strengths’ and ‘Weaknesses’ analysis.
The
best references for evaluating yourself are the Quran and
Sunnah
because they are the manual for right and wrong.
Once you’ve reviewed your weaknesses, cross out the word and rename it ‘Challenges’ – these are the areas to work on to transform.Slide32
#2 – Develop a Muslim Psychology
Boost
your faith (
Imaan
).
You should not pay heed to the worldly
standards.
Know
that you are a creation of The Majestic Creator; and secondly, you are of the
Ummah
of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him).Slide33
#3 – Develop Positive Skills and Habits
Enrich your mind through
recitation
of the Quran with translation and
Tafsir
.
Establishing
Salah.
Initiate
your own
project.Slide34
#4 – Personal Grooming
Dress code in
deen
Looks??????
HabitsSlide35
#5 – Find Birds of a Feather
Find
a supportive peer group.
If your gatherings are full of folks that ridicule your beliefs and values, then you are bound to feel worthless.
Mingle with the righteous who acknowledge your worth, help you identify your weaknesses, and are indulged in productive and wholesome habits. Slide36
#5 – Find Birds of a Feather (Contd.)
If
you have good friends who relax and enjoy themselves within the wise bounds that Allah (
Subhanahu
wa
Ta’ala
) has set, and your productive activities include:
Attending
halaqas
Praying in congregation at the mosque
Discussing
Iman
Understanding and memorization of the Quran
Similar positive topics
Then you are bound to feel secure and benefit from the gathering.Slide37
#6 – Develop Your Defense
Perform a simple self-check: test your response to wrongful criticism.
You should speak calmly and articulately, assertively and firmly, with the Quran and
Sunnah
as reference.
Remember being assertive and firm does not mean speaking harshly or rudely.Slide38Slide39
Other Ways to Increase Self EsteemSlide40
Self worth comes from WITHIN!
The key point to remember when trying to build self worth is…Slide41
Don’t Base Self Esteem on External Factors!
culture
,
nationality,
language,
wealth
,
social
class,
ancestry,
profession,
educational
level. Slide42
Don’t Base Self Worth on External Factors!
We can
lose everything
external.
So basing our self-worth on transient things is extremely dangerous
Allah often tests us by taking those things we are most attached to. Slide43
Final Thought…rememberrrrr
Very low
self-
esteem…….. Corrosive.
Too
much self-
esteem…….extremely destructive.
Measure
your self-worth by Islam and not by
society
Sync
your life with your faith, you can overcome the self-esteem deficit soon.Slide44
Remember…
You are a unique individual. No one else is like you in the whole world. This makes you special already!
Our time in this world is limited. Make it happen for you so you leave your mark in history!Slide45
Questions?Slide46
Jazakallah Khairan!
Dr.
Kanwal
Kaisser
May 2012Slide47
Resources Used From the Following Places
http://www.productivemuslim.com/ways-to-build-self-esteem/
http://www.balancedleader.net/psychology/depressed.html
http://azizaizmargari.wordpress.com/2007/03/29/diseases-of-the-heart-low-self-esteem-and-insecurities/Slide48
Dr. Kanwal
Kaisser