Presentation . for OCSTA . by Fr. . Rémi. . Lessard. 1. The Nature of Conflict. Conflict is a normal and inevitable part of life. The effects of conflict can be either disruptive and destructive or creative and constructive.. ID: 195414
DownloadNote - The PPT/PDF document "Conflict – Managing it Creatively" is the property of its rightful owner. Permission is granted to download and print the materials on this web site for personal, non-commercial use only, and to display it on your personal computer provided you do not modify the materials and that you retain all copyright notices contained in the materials. By downloading content from our website, you accept the terms of this agreement.
Conflict – Managing it Creatively
Presentation for OCSTA by Fr. Rémi Lessard
The Nature of Conflict
Conflict is a normal and inevitable part of lifeThe effects of conflict can be either disruptive and destructive or creative and constructive.Inability of cope with conflict leads to to increased hostility, antagonism and divisiveness: clear thinking disintegrates, and prejudice and dogmatism come to prevail.
CM does not necessarily seek to terminate or even solve conflictCM seek to increase understanding of issues, factors and points of viewCM seek to create group cohesion through: mutual respect and confidence in group’s abilityCM seek to improve self-knowledge through examination of goals, values and focus
CM seeks to foster openness to change and adaptationCM seeks to improve trust in the process and the people involvedCM seeks to increase collaborationCM seeks informed decision rather than the forced agreements of “group thinking”
Theology of friendship: Jesus and Pharisees: You are like whitewashed tombs (Matthew 23,27))Theology of service: washing each others feet (John 13,1-15)Theology of presence: what do you want? (Mark 10,46-47) Theology of justice: healing on Sabbath day (Matthew 12,10) Theology of sharing: multiplication of the loaves (John 6, 1-14)Theology of forgiveness: one must forgive seventy time seven (Matthew 15, 21-22)
Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anaemic. (Martin Luther King)The opposite to war isn’t peace, it’s creation. (A character in Jonathan Larson’s Broadway play : Rent)
Power and Love: Paul Tillich
Power is the drive of everything living to realize itself, with increasing intensity and extensityLove is the drive towards the unity of the separated.
Power and Love
Power and love have generative sides and degenerative sidesLove is what makes power generative instead of degenerativePower is what makes love generative instead of degenerativeWill without love becomes manipulation and love without will become sentimental
The generative side of power is the power-to, as the drive to self-realization.The degenerative shadow, is power-over, the stealing or suppression of the self-realization of another
Love is generative when it empowers us and other: when it helps us, individually and collectively, to complete ourselves and grow.Love is degenerative-sentimental and anaemic, or worse, when it overlooks or denies or suffocates power.
Power and loveTwo fundamental drives
The drive to realization,to achieve one’s purpose, to get one’s job done, to grow
The drive to unity, to reconnect and make whole that which has become or appears fragmented
Love over powerDegenerative love
Submissive and lifeless peaceNot pushing anything on anyone in order to get alongLet others win to preserve goodwill and harmonyTalk and negotiate endlesslySuccessful processes producing unsuccessful resultsNothing new created
Power over loveDegenerative Power
Aggressive warPushing things through, no matter whatMake deals to get things to go our the wayInsensitivity and callousness Impose solutionsNothing new created
Degenerative power campAll you need is power.The context in which we create is a terra nullius, an empty world, an open frontier, a white space, a blank canvas.We don’t need the connections: disposable people and planet.Loving wastes valuable and precious time.
Degenerative love campAll you need is love.Establishing connections gives us enough momentum and direction to realize and sustain change.Power is a dirty; it corrupts. We don’t need it.We won’t have anything to to with power.
Without power, nothing new grows
Without love, there is no space to grow into.
Generative power campWithout love, there is no space or opening to grow into.Love expands our intelligence and builds our capacity for co-creation.Connectedness is as valuable as directiveness.To be afraid of using love – of being hurt – is to be paralyzed into isolation.
Generative love campWithout power, nothing new grows.Power is never absent. It must be acknowledged, understood and discussed productively.The ignorance and concealment of power corrupts.To be afraid of using power – of hurting anyone – is to be paralyzed into inaction.
Learning to employ both power and love is like learning to walk on two legs. We can’t walk only on one leg, just as we can’t address our toughest social problems only with power or only with love. But walking on two legs doesn’t mean either moving them both at the same time or always being stably balanced. On the contrary it means moving first one leg and then the other and always being out of balance – or more precisely, always being in dynamic balance.
The great balancing act
The key to walking on two legs is that even when we are focussing on one, we must not forget the other. Our capacity to take a next step that will move us forward depends on our capacity to recognize the state of our power and love.
Way of walking # 1
Way of walking # 2
Way of walking # 3
Power & Love
Way of walking # 4
Adam Kahane, Power and Love. A Theory and Practice of Social Change, San Francisco, Berrett-Koehler, 2010. “Power and Love should be read and reread by anyone seriously committed to addressing though problems.” Morris Rosenberg
The Board and Conflict
Conflict results from:Lack of informationDifferent views of what information is importantVarying interpretations of available information.Conflict is rooted in different needs or interest and the perception that all the choices facing the board are in competition.Structural conflict involves a struggle over power or authority. Value conflicts results form different ideals, different ways of understanding the world.
Types of conflict
Between board membersBetween the board and the directorBetween the organization and its constituency
Good Practices in Managing Conflict
Pay attention to good interpersonal communicationsOperate with a strategic planClarify roles and responsibilitiesHelp develop a skilled chairperson
Good Practices in Managing Conflict
Learn about conflict resolution processesEstablish a code of conduct for the boardEncourage board self-assessmentCelebrate agreements and new understanding
Responses to Conflict
Emotional responsesCognitive responsesPhysical responses
Competitive style: People who tend towards this style take a firm stand and know what they want. Collaborative style: People who tends towards this style try to meet the needs or all people involved. Compromising style: People who prefer this style try to find a situation that will partially satisfy everyone.
Accommodating style: This style indicates a willingness to meet the needs of others at the expenses of one’s own needs. Avoiding style: People who tends towards this style don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and they sometimes evade the conflict entirely by delegating difficult decisions.
Five-Step Conflict Resolution Process
Step one: Set the sceneStep two: Gather informationStep three: Agree on the problemStep four: Brainstorm possible solutionsStep five: Negotiate a solution
Listen in order to fully understand what is being said to you.Rephrase what you heard the person say so you can be sure you heard correctly.Ask questions that help you get more information, e.g. “What did you mean when you said…? » Offer encouragement and support.Ask how the person feels. Be careful not to assume that you know how the person feels.
Blaming and attackingBeing distracted or using other body language that is non-attentiveDismissing or making light of someone’s problemInterruptingLecturing/moralizing“Yes… but.” statements
Asking for more information and problem solving togetherGiving full attention such as making eye contact or leaning toward the other personShowing empathy, validating the other person’s feelingStaying silent until the person is finished speakingWithholding judgement“Yes… and” statements